i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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