is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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