i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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