i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
