READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Randomize
