Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
