it's like iHOP with fire
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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