Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize