Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
