nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
