Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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