she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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