umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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