Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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