just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
