I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Come back. Shots need mouths.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize