im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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