Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
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