dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
