Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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