Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
