I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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