I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I need a beard to bite.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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