she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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