Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
