I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You're like the curious george of whores
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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