I'm lost and stupid without you.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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