and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
