I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I love you. Go after that dick
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
