This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
