I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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