Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
