everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
wow bdsm is so cute
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
