I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
