I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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