peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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