Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
