when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
