I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
