1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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