i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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