There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
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