17 year olds will be the death of me.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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