I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
