how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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