i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
