There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
