And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's rum buckets o'clock
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
