doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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