i just made my gag reflex go away.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Less talking, more tequila
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
