Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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