Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i just had sex bonerless
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
