you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
