no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
