I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
