I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
